Happy Birthday Lady '08

Today is my lady's aka my bff's aka Sara Lecure's birfdayyy!
Sorry I can't be there today :(
But here are just a few reasons why you are my favorite lady:

Exibit A. car dancing
enough said.

Exibit B. being the cooliest people wherever we go
who else am I going to go to Qdoba's with and talk about poop, Hitler, unicorns, and butt sex with?

Exibit C. you always make me laugh untill i think i will pee myself
we have our own brand of humor that most normal people think is lewd, and socially unacceptable.

Exibit D. those weird things we do
Like being co-founders of the I Seriously Fucking Love Hippos Club
and laying in bed all afternoon sending pictures of penises to eachother on our DS's
and freaking the fuck out about puppies

Exibit E. i love the poopins out of you
but you are always there for me when i need you,
you remind me to stand up for myself at times,
you threaten to kick anybody's ass who makes me upset
(which in turn makes me feel better)
and that being said, you always know how to cheer me up

And the fact that when I grow old,
I know that you are going to be on the front porch next to me
yelling at kids to get off our lawns
and scaring the neighbors


Appeasing the Beast

"I see you have prepared your yearly offering for me, human


Good job, you have pleased me
I may even allow you to pet me later tonight


Although, next year I want to see more of that 'tinsle' stuff,
you know how I enjoy throwing it up on the carpet.
And catnip, lots of catnip.
Mmmm yes."